The Tale of the Poisonous PB & J

Okay....so I don't normally make my children peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Unfortunately, they are not my sandwich of choice. To be quite honest with you, I cannot stand them. They are, however, one of David's favorites...and I would have to say Luke and Lexi, too! I just got tired of hearing Luke always asking me why I can't make them like Daddy...therefore, I usually leave this for a Daddy dinner...when I am at stamp class, work, etc. Now I know many of you are thinking...come on Nik, how hard could it possibly be to make a PB & J that your children will eat. It's actually quite difficult. When David makes them, he spreads the peanut butter to be about an inch thick. Then he puts about a half inch of jam....this is no lie! David in no way would deem this an exaggeration. In fact, he would probably argue that my measurements are on the whimpy side! You can't even see the crust of the bread because of all of the insides oozing out all over the place. Now, there a couple of reasons this bothers me....

1. PB is already a choking hazard...and I begin to freak when I see my children struggling because it is all caked on the roof of their mouths.
2. PB is not cheap, and we go through it faster than a loaf of bread...by the way, David will grab a BIG spoon out of the drawer and get a HEAPING...and I mean HEAPING spoonful of PB and just eat it like that. I will get up in the morning and there will be spoons in the study from him the night before.
3. I hate PB breath...not to mention, the use of that much PB makes me physically ill!
4. My children will be covered from head to toe with PB and Jelly after eating one of David's infamous sandwiches.

Okay, so back to the title of my post...man, I didn't realize I needed to vent about my feelings toward PB. Last night, I was extremely exhausted and David was doing a late night flight to Phoenix...so, I thought I am going to attempt to make an "edible" (meaning a David-type) PB & J sandwich for Luke and Lexi. Luke loves to help in the kitchen, so I am having him get all the necessary ingredients out...and of course, the PB isn't in its usual spot (I should have known this because I found a plethora of spoons in the study this past week) and there is no jam in the fridge. So, Luke and I look in the pantry and we find that we have a back-up of both items. FYI...we go through jam weekly too. So, you are pretty much guaranteed not to have a "routine" taste each time we have PB&J sandwiches. Well, last night Luke asks me what flavor the new jam is...I tell him boysenberry. He immediately gasps and says, "oh no mommy, we can't eat 'poison' berry jam...it could kill us." I GIVE UP...Done with PB & J sandwiches...and for those dying to know...NO, he would not eat it...and he wouldn't let his sister either!